about my journey towards domestic adoption and other musings

Posts tagged ‘miscarriage/infertility’

How we can ask for and give support

A discussion we had last night at the support group that I attend, caused me to remember and think about the many ways that God has blessed us through this journey we’ve been on. All along the way, with each miscarriage we’ve been through, He has provided for us in so many ways. We’ve moved twice in that time frame and God has always brought wonderful friends into our lives, which have been there for us, praying for us and supporting us through the tough times. Even though they may not realize it, the small ways that they cared are what meant the most. A simple phone call, listening ear, or “I’m praying for you” let me know that they care.

At times, I have felt lonely, but I realize those are usually the times when I have separated myself from people and not really shared what was on my heart. The thing is, I want people to know what I need without me telling them, but that’s not the way it works. They can’t read my mind. I have to share the hurts and difficulties so that people have an opportunity to support me and care for me. If I look fine on the outside, and say that I’m fine when people ask, but really I’m not, I’m not being authentic and can’t expect that people would know any differently. I don’t think it’s wise to try this approach with just anyone, but know the people in your life who truly care about you and have supported you in the past (people you trust) and share with them when you are hurting. Tell them what you need from them. Remember that they can’t read your mind.

How can you support someone who is hurting? It’s not easy to know what to say or do. Ask them! How can I help you? What do you need? How can I be praying for you? Be available to them. Listen. Let them know that you are thinking of them. Acknowledge their hurt, don’t ignore it.

I love this verse:

Galatians 6:2 ~ Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

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Trusting God

In my quiet time I have been reading through “The One Year Book of Hope” by Nancy Guthrie. This week has been focused on the names of God and how His character is revealed through these names.

The passage for meditation this week is:

The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you.
-Psalm 9:9-10

When I was in the midst of the pain of having gone through several miscarriages and was questioning God, I went “back to the basics” of who God is. He reveals Himself to us throughout all of Scripture and I had to make a choice whether I was going to believe Him or not. Was I going to trust Him? I can say that through all the times of struggle, as I have come to God with my doubts, fears, worries, pain, anger, heartache, questions, and so much more, that He has never, ever abandoned me. He is who He says He is!

My story

Most of you reading this blog probably already know at least part of my story. It’s really not only my story, it is Isaac’s too. It’s the story of us, as a family.

Our journey toward parenthood has been long, painful and difficult. For a long time I avoided the word infertile. I didn’t want to be defined as that. But, I’m not. I am fertile. God has blessed us with 6 babies who were taken very early in their lives to be with Him. I’ve been pregnant 5 times. That’s pretty fertile if you ask me. Sadly, my babies weren’t born here on this earth, but that doesn’t make them any less special, or loved. We’ve been on this journey for 5 years now. I don’t know when or how God will bring children into our lives. Right now, we are pursuing domestic infant adoption. But, I’ve learned to hold onto plans loosely, for I don’t know what God has in store for us. I hope that someday it includes the blessing of children.

The road has been so hard and long. But, God has been so good. He has taught me so much through this struggle and brought me much comfort and peace. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s really, really true.