about my journey towards domestic adoption and other musings

Posts tagged ‘infertility’

How we can ask for and give support

A discussion we had last night at the support group that I attend, caused me to remember and think about the many ways that God has blessed us through this journey we’ve been on. All along the way, with each miscarriage we’ve been through, He has provided for us in so many ways. We’ve moved twice in that time frame and God has always brought wonderful friends into our lives, which have been there for us, praying for us and supporting us through the tough times. Even though they may not realize it, the small ways that they cared are what meant the most. A simple phone call, listening ear, or “I’m praying for you” let me know that they care.

At times, I have felt lonely, but I realize those are usually the times when I have separated myself from people and not really shared what was on my heart. The thing is, I want people to know what I need without me telling them, but that’s not the way it works. They can’t read my mind. I have to share the hurts and difficulties so that people have an opportunity to support me and care for me. If I look fine on the outside, and say that I’m fine when people ask, but really I’m not, I’m not being authentic and can’t expect that people would know any differently. I don’t think it’s wise to try this approach with just anyone, but know the people in your life who truly care about you and have supported you in the past (people you trust) and share with them when you are hurting. Tell them what you need from them. Remember that they can’t read your mind.

How can you support someone who is hurting? It’s not easy to know what to say or do. Ask them! How can I help you? What do you need? How can I be praying for you? Be available to them. Listen. Let them know that you are thinking of them. Acknowledge their hurt, don’t ignore it.

I love this verse:

Galatians 6:2 ~ Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.