about my journey towards domestic adoption and other musings

Archive for the ‘life lessons’ Category

Living Proof Live

Last weekend (April 1 & 2) I was able to attend Living Proof Live and hear Beth Moore speak. What a great experience! I was definitely praying for and anticipating hearing a word from God. Well, He didn’t disappoint! I felt like the whole weekend was God speaking straight to my heart. As soon as Beth announced the theme for the weekend, I knew I was right where God wanted me to be. The main topic was on waiting and what to do while you’re in a season of waiting. Hello! I’m telling you, right at me. I’ve had a few days now to think about and process some of what I heard.

Here are some highlights from my notes:

The main passage that Beth taught from was James 5:7-11.

Eight while we Wait

  1. Embrace the word you love to hate – patience (& perseverance)

    God has not moved on without me. It’s a long obedience in the same direction. Do the next thing. God is into process.

    It may be bearing up with people or bearing up with circumstances. If we’ve asked for deliverance and we are still in it, there’s something that this season is meant to sow.

  2. See the sacred in the simple while you wait

    “The whole earth is full of His glory” Isaiah 6:3

  3. Go look for your heart where it got lost.

    Deuteronomy 11:13-14; Hosea 6:3. Waiting is not my punishment. Get my heart back in it and find my center in God.

  4. Watch for relationships a long wait can cost.

    Deliberately and graciously turn to God while you wait or we will turn on each other.

    With delay we can become mockers, scoffers and cynical.

    James 5:9 ~ “grumble” is unexpressed feelings of bitterness, groaning or sighing, not an honest complaint. God hears our groaning and we can take it to Him rather than taking it out on someone else.

  5. Pray, believing that your rain is near.

    I Kings 18:41-46. It’s easy to give up on prayer when you are not seeing answers, or the answer is a long time in coming. Continue to pray with earnestness, don’t give up, and persevere! Find Scripture to pray over your situation if you don’t have the words.

  6. Study the lives of those who persevered.

    Although Beth didn’t reference it, this made me think of Hebrews 11.

  7. Trust that God will cause your eyes to see.

    James 5:11 compared to Job 42:1-5 “heard….and have seen what the Lord finally brought about”

  8. All that He’s been, your God will always be.

    Job 19:25-27

That’s it in a nutshell. I’m still meditating on these things and trusting God to continue to speak to me. It was so helpful for me and just what I needed to hear during this time of waiting.

Our God is faithful! He’ll never leave us or forsake us. He sees what we are going through. He cares about us and loves us more than we can ever imagine. As we wait on Him, our strength will rise and we will soar on wings like eagles (Isaiah 40:31)

Letting go

It’s not easy, and I find it’s a daily, and sometimes moment by moment, letting go. When I hear that someone else is having a baby, or someone else is adopting or someone else has been chosen by a birthmom, jealousy and sadness comes that, once again, it’s not me. When does it get to be my turn? I acknowledge these feelings and cry to God and then I have to let it go, and remember Him. I realize, once again, that the focus needs to get off of me, and off of other’s situations and on to God. David Crowder Band has a song, called “Only You” that has spoken to me time and time again.

“Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you who’s crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it up to You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
Be all my delights, be my everything”

Click here to buy the song, and hear a sample.

It’s a powerful reminder to take it all to God in worship and allow Him to “be my everything.”

How we can ask for and give support

A discussion we had last night at the support group that I attend, caused me to remember and think about the many ways that God has blessed us through this journey we’ve been on. All along the way, with each miscarriage we’ve been through, He has provided for us in so many ways. We’ve moved twice in that time frame and God has always brought wonderful friends into our lives, which have been there for us, praying for us and supporting us through the tough times. Even though they may not realize it, the small ways that they cared are what meant the most. A simple phone call, listening ear, or “I’m praying for you” let me know that they care.

At times, I have felt lonely, but I realize those are usually the times when I have separated myself from people and not really shared what was on my heart. The thing is, I want people to know what I need without me telling them, but that’s not the way it works. They can’t read my mind. I have to share the hurts and difficulties so that people have an opportunity to support me and care for me. If I look fine on the outside, and say that I’m fine when people ask, but really I’m not, I’m not being authentic and can’t expect that people would know any differently. I don’t think it’s wise to try this approach with just anyone, but know the people in your life who truly care about you and have supported you in the past (people you trust) and share with them when you are hurting. Tell them what you need from them. Remember that they can’t read your mind.

How can you support someone who is hurting? It’s not easy to know what to say or do. Ask them! How can I help you? What do you need? How can I be praying for you? Be available to them. Listen. Let them know that you are thinking of them. Acknowledge their hurt, don’t ignore it.

I love this verse:

Galatians 6:2 ~ Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Isaac and I tested this saying this summer. In August we were apart for 4 weeks, while he was in Israel, studying Hebrew. I went to visit my family in Canada for three of those weeks so that definitely helped ease the loneliness that I was feeling. The first few days being apart (before I left for Canada) were the absolute worst. I was miserable and missed him like crazy. I thought about how much I missed him, loved him, and longed to be with him and it made me think about my relationship with God. I realized a few things – I want to have the same longing for God that I had for Isaac when we were apart. Secondly, I realized how much God loves me and longs to be in relationship with me. Those feelings I was having for Isaac are the same feelings that God has for me, only multiplied way more than I can even imagine.

So, we survived the 4 weeks, I learned a few things, and we proved the saying true. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

Psalm 139:17-18a
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!